








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 437 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2330 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,862 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2532 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2514 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2797 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2019 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $994,581 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tuhoLASSE | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | Naamiz | 67% | 27 |
| #3 | TestoJussi | 59% | 74 |
| #4 | smagis | 58% | 36 |
| #5 | Zankie | 58% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | TestoJussi | 59% | 74 |
| #4 | smagis | 58% | 36 |
| #5 | Zankie | 58% | 50 |
| #6 | King | 51% | 35 |
| #7 | tappotopi | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zankie | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Naamiz | 3 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smagis | 199 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #2 | King | 189 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #3 | TestoJussi | 160 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Zankie | 107 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Naamiz | 75 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TestoJussi | +2.14 | 77 | 65 |
| #2 | Naamiz | +1.90 | 77 | 57 |
| #3 | tuhoLASSE | +1.59 | 72 | 76 |
| #4 | Zankie | +1.06 | 85 | 64 |
| #5 | King | +0.26 | 73 | 65 |





