








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 606 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Faceit | 100 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3094 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,256 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2265 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3604 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2675 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2712 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,072,828 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 507 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tappotopi | 68% | 31 |
| #2 | chamouni | 59% | 74 |
| #3 | Naamiz | 59% | 100 |
| #4 | MR.LORDI EUROVISION 2006 | 57% | 54 |
| #5 | smagis | 56% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | MR.LORDI EUROVISION 2006 | 57% | 54 |
| #5 | smagis | 56% | 146 |
| #6 | King | 54% | 92 |
| #7 | Zankie | 54% | 133 |
| #8 | Vilze | 50% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Naamiz | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | smagis | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Zankie | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | chamouni | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smagis | 755 | 0.25 | 21 min |
| #2 | King | 472 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #3 | Zankie | 280 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Naamiz | 222 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | chamouni | 219 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vilze | +2.33 | 87 | 64 |
| #2 | MR.LORDI EUROVISION 2006 | +2.15 | 75 | 69 |
| #3 | TestoJussi | +1.70 | 78 | 65 |
| #4 | Zankie | +0.68 | 80 | 62 |
| #5 | Naamiz | +0.17 | 76 | 56 |





