








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 392 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1321 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,878 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2328 | 48% |
| Smokes | 1578 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 301 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 671 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $662,559 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ģuchi | 50% | 26 |
| #2 | small Skinny | 50% | 136 |
| #3 | MoonClaw | 46% | 166 |
| #4 | internet reserves | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | Kaspars Daugaviņš | 40% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | MoonClaw | 46% | 166 |
| #4 | internet reserves | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | Kaspars Daugaviņš | 40% | 110 |
| #6 | Skinny | 38% | 24 |
| #7 | FREDDIE | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaspars Daugaviņš | 10 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | internet reserves | 7 | 0.0248 |
| #3 | MoonClaw | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | ģuchi | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | small Skinny | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MoonClaw | 513 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #2 | small Skinny | 476 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #3 | Kaspars Daugaviņš | 376 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | FREDDIE | 86 | 0.37 | 3 min |
| #5 | ģuchi | 65 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ģuchi | +6.15 | 81 | 59 |
| #2 | Skinny | +5.81 | 76 | 66 |
| #3 | small Skinny | +5.04 | 69 | 71 |
| #4 | internet reserves | +2.18 | 84 | 56 |
| #5 | FREDDIE | +1.24 | 56 | 73 |





