










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 114 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3784 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,393 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1863 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2793 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2043 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1694 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,456,806 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 850 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DucKGoose | 63% | 40 |
| #2 | Angeluss | 62% | 69 |
| #3 | ZEY | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | Jimmy Seepage | 57% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DucKGoose | 63% | 40 |
| #2 | Angeluss | 62% | 69 |
| #3 | ZEY | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | Jimmy Seepage | 57% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimmy Seepage | 8 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | DucKGoose | 5 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Angeluss | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | ZEY | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimmy Seepage | 358 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #2 | Angeluss | 234 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | DucKGoose | 114 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | ZEY | 76 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skatteboooo | +2.91 | 93 | 64 |
| #2 | ZEY | +1.58 | 74 | 70 |
| #3 | Angeluss | +1.16 | 66 | 61 |
| #4 | DucKGoose | +0.84 | 63 | 61 |
| #5 | Jimmy Seepage | -0.95 | 63 | 63 |





