








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 294 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2370 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,657 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2512 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2277 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1280 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1588 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $623,551 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ÐarkŸasμøMahmoúÐ | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | Tuoppi | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | Squirrel | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | црах | 53% | 55 |
| #5 | ツ | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Koboldo | 50% | 12 |
| #7 | Jortsa | 47% | 15 |
| #8 | ✪ rosu | 41% | 22 |
| #9 | Valtsu | 25% | 20 |
| #10 | uila | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tuoppi | 6 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | црах | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | ✪ rosu | 4 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | Jortsa | 3 | 0.0105 |
| #5 | Koboldo | 2 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | црах | 159 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | ツ | 90 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | ÐarkŸasμøMahmoúÐ | 66 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jortsa | 63 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | ✪ rosu | 51 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | црах | +2.59 | 78 | 68 |
| #2 | ✪ rosu | +1.08 | 79 | 58 |
| #3 | Valtsu | +0.80 | 79 | 62 |
| #4 | edvin | +0.49 | 59 | 57 |
| #5 | Koboldo | +0.19 | 59 | 62 |





