








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2189 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,174 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2782 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2294 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2691 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2407 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $707,591 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 193 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SnQ | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | psych♡ | 61% | 85 |
| #3 | akaYM | 48% | 151 |
| #4 | Chubs | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | sensed | 47% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Chubs | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | sensed | 47% | 160 |
| #6 | Mythic | 46% | 13 |
| #7 | Cutter | 44% | 89 |
| #8 | f0x | 44% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sensed | 17 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | psych♡ | 13 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Cutter | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | f0x | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | akaYM | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cutter | 611 | 0.32 | 14 min |
| #2 | sensed | 507 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #3 | akaYM | 384 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | psych♡ | 367 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #5 | f0x | 114 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | psych♡ | +3.27 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | Mythic | +1.46 | 79 | 41 |
| #3 | sensed | +0.75 | 64 | 61 |
| #4 | Cutter | +0.17 | 58 | 60 |
| #5 | SnQ | +0.17 | 70 | 51 |





