








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 249 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 228 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4166 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,310 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4895 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3239 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2687 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2489 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $463,091 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 435 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keeb | 61% | 85 |
| #2 | SnQ | 57% | 40 |
| #3 | akaYM | 55% | 256 |
| #4 | Cutter | 54% | 126 |
| #5 | Nick | 54% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Nick | 54% | 39 |
| #6 | sensed | 52% | 173 |
| #7 | f0x | 49% | 47 |
| #8 | Chubs | 40% | 62 |
| #9 | PaX.Drag0n | Tf2jackpot.cf | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sensed | 31 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | Cutter | 23 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | PaX.Drag0n | Tf2jackpot.cf | 9 | 0.0214 |
| #4 | Keeb | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | f0x | 5 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cutter | 892 | 0.34 | 20 min |
| #2 | akaYM | 791 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #3 | sensed | 452 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #4 | Keeb | 318 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | f0x | 108 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nick | +4.50 | 86 | 66 |
| #2 | psych♡ | +3.94 | 83 | 60 |
| #3 | PaX.Drag0n | Tf2jackpot.cf | +1.42 | 58 | 35 |
| #4 | Cutter | +0.24 | 61 | 61 |
| #5 | sensed | -0.14 | 64 | 56 |





