










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
229 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 231 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 73 | 32% |
| Smokes | 89 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 50 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 19 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $41,641 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cookie | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | HEHE~ Lapicus | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | JohnnyMotorcyclez | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cookie | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | HEHE~ Lapicus | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | JohnnyMotorcyclez | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cookie | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | JohnnyMotorcyclez | 1 | 0.0132 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cookie | 33 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | HEHE~ Lapicus | 9 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #3 | JohnnyMotorcyclez | 5 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yssge | +2.64 | 82 | 36 |
| #2 | HEHE~ Lapicus | +1.52 | 71 | 59 |
| #3 | Cookie | -0.74 | 71 | 65 |
| #4 | JohnnyMotorcyclez | -5.71 | 63 | 51 |





