










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 711 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 326 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4098 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,526 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2679 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1585 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 3919 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3343 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,737,065 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaydub | 56% | 117 |
| #2 | Co | 53% | 274 |
| #3 | HEHE~ Lapicus | 51% | 157 |
| #4 | Nico | 50% | 169 |
| #5 | Depression ✔ | 46% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | HEHE~ Lapicus | 51% | 157 |
| #4 | Nico | 50% | 169 |
| #5 | Depression ✔ | 46% | 50 |
| #6 | edshot machine | 46% | 59 |
| #7 | Wish | 41% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Co | 14 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Nico | 14 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | edshot machine | 13 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | HEHE~ Lapicus | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Jaydub | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nico | 434 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | Co | 401 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | Jaydub | 396 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #4 | HEHE~ Lapicus | 191 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | edshot machine | 120 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaydub | +2.26 | 83 | 60 |
| #2 | HEHE~ Lapicus | +1.21 | 69 | 53 |
| #3 | Co | +0.99 | 82 | 41 |
| #4 | Nico | +0.13 | 76 | 54 |
| #5 | Cookie | -0.70 | 59 | 63 |





