








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1095 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 368 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5021 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,136 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2553 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2387 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2646 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2550 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,598,915 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1302 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -repsak | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | AirFresh ᶫᵒᵛᵉᵧₒᵤ | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | Ping Ping | 53% | 36 |
| #4 | nika | 53% | 190 |
| #5 | microwavedfetus | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | AirFresh ᶫᵒᵛᵉᵧₒᵤ | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | Ping Ping | 53% | 36 |
| #4 | nika | 53% | 190 |
| #5 | microwavedfetus | 50% | 28 |
| #6 | MingMing | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nika | 16 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | microwavedfetus | 11 | 0.0206 |
| #3 | Ping Ping | 5 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | -repsak | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | AirFresh ᶫᵒᵛᵉᵧₒᵤ | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nika | 297 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | Ping Ping | 199 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #3 | MingMing | 88 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | -repsak | 64 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | AirFresh ᶫᵒᵛᵉᵧₒᵤ | 47 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | microwavedfetus | +3.43 | 96 | 54 |
| #2 | Master guardian garbage | +1.66 | 84 | 55 |
| #3 | MingMing | -0.06 | 74 | 66 |
| #4 | nika | -0.92 | 76 | 50 |
| #5 | Ping Ping | -1.01 | 41 | 57 |





