








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 491 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5723 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,953 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5045 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5657 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4466 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3785 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,680,594 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 351 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Manstein (Boffen) | 51% | 90 |
| #8 | microwavedfetus | 51% | 49 |
| #9 | Ping Ping | 50% | 192 |
| #10 | nika | 49% | 89 |
| #11 | AirFresh ᶫᵒᵛᵉᵧₒᵤ | 44% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ping Ping | 25 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | -nahoj | 13 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | nika | 12 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | AirFresh ᶫᵒᵛᵉᵧₒᵤ | 10 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | microwavedfetus | 8 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ping Ping | 782 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | Manstein (Boffen) | 208 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | AirFresh ᶫᵒᵛᵉᵧₒᵤ | 151 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | nika | 146 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | -repsak | 138 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | microwavedfetus | +4.73 | 97 | 58 |
| #2 | -nahoj | +4.20 | 95 | 57 |
| #3 | MingMing | +0.81 | 70 | 61 |
| #4 | nika | +0.09 | 72 | 54 |
| #5 | AirFresh ᶫᵒᵛᵉᵧₒᵤ | -0.33 | 56 | 60 |





