








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
408 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,035 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 269 | 26% |
| Smokes | 269 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 303 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 194 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $64,446 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SigmaBroCorn | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | M8gic | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | 🤘M☠d☡🤘 | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | ilusio | 78% | 9 |
| #5 | Wheels | 75% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | kochpeter | 40% | 5 |
| #17 | Tronald Dump | 25% | 4 |
| #18 | 𝓝𝓞𝓙𝓞𝓗 | 25% | 4 |
| #19 | Beuchert | 0% | 2 |
| #20 | Sm0k3y | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kochpeter | 2 | 0.0172 |
| #2 | Nyredolk | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Fazer | 1 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | SigmaBroCorn | 1 | 0.0250 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wheels | +6.80 | 87 | 60 |
| #2 | Kirsten Larsen | +6.64 | 85 | 27 |
| #3 | Penisland.com | +5.84 | 91 | 62 |
| #4 | Beuchert | +3.10 | 82 | 68 |
| #5 | Damkjaer | +2.58 | 54 | 76 |





