








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 694 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 566 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5965 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,066 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5118 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5186 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6311 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4451 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,377,345 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 368 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0Bli?® | 58% | 71 |
| #2 | Heinz Wäscher | 51% | 35 |
| #3 | ✪ Rambo Ramon Rainer | 50% | 284 |
| #4 | DasNick | 49% | 174 |
| #5 | Odin Jens Jr. | 49% | 417 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Heinz Wäscher | 51% | 35 |
| #3 | ✪ Rambo Ramon Rainer | 50% | 284 |
| #4 | DasNick | 49% | 174 |
| #5 | Odin Jens Jr. | 49% | 417 |
| #6 | genoobt | 47% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DasNick | 31 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | Odin Jens Jr. | 25 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | 0Bli?® | 8 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | ✪ Rambo Ramon Rainer | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Heinz Wäscher | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Odin Jens Jr. | 1442 | 0.16 | 43 min |
| #2 | ✪ Rambo Ramon Rainer | 553 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #3 | 0Bli?® | 211 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | DasNick | 163 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | genoobt | 109 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DasNick | +0.54 | 74 | 44 |
| #2 | Jonny | +0.25 | 49 | 66 |
| #3 | ✪ Rambo Ramon Rainer | +0.15 | 67 | 62 |
| #4 | Heinz Wäscher | -0.02 | 51 | 57 |
| #5 | Odin Jens Jr. | -0.18 | 72 | 77 |





