








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 568 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5455 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,669 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4458 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5247 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5226 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4738 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,218,199 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 243 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | DasNick | 50% | 185 |
| #5 | Odin Jens Jr. | 49% | 560 |
| #6 | genoobt | 46% | 113 |
| #7 | Heinz Wäscher | 46% | 90 |
| #8 | ✪ Dragon Dinoso Degen | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Odin Jens Jr. | 42 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Jonny | 31 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | DasNick | 30 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | 0Bli?® | 17 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | Heinz Wäscher | 6 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Odin Jens Jr. | 1909 | 0.16 | 59 min |
| #2 | Jonny | 615 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #3 | 0Bli?® | 294 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | DasNick | 187 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | genoobt | 139 | 0.06 | 4 min |





