








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 536 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 286 matches | ||
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6325 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,736 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4881 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4486 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4428 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4941 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,367,630 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stephxx | 74% | 104 |
| #2 | GODscruffay | 72% | 54 |
| #3 | S1eep | 72% | 57 |
| #4 | Simon | 59% | 393 |
| #5 | Barnibis III | 55% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jwb. | 38 | 0.0150 |
| #2 | Simon | 18 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Barnibis III | 14 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Rex Bebop | 10 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | stephxx | 9 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stephxx | 472 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #2 | jwb. | 317 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Barnibis III | 255 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | GODscruffay | 237 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #5 | Simon | 177 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ricen | +6.14 | 77 | 64 |
| #2 | stephxx | +3.34 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | S1eep | +1.52 | 83 | 47 |
| #4 | Barnibis III | +0.32 | 68 | 46 |
| #5 | GODscruffay | -0.37 | 63 | 61 |





