








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 536 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 286 matches | ||
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6325 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,736 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4881 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4486 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4428 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4941 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,346,830 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crack | 74% | 104 |
| #2 | GODscruffay | 72% | 54 |
| #3 | S1eep | 72% | 57 |
| #4 | maestr0 | 59% | 393 |
| #5 | Annexx | 55% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jwbxd | 38 | 0.0156 |
| #2 | maestr0 | 18 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Annexx | 14 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | rwbxd | 10 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | crack | 9 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crack | 472 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #2 | jwbxd | 305 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Annexx | 240 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | GODscruffay | 237 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #5 | maestr0 | 172 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r1cen | +6.14 | 81 | 66 |
| #2 | crack | +3.34 | 79 | 66 |
| #3 | S1eep | +1.52 | 87 | 52 |
| #4 | Annexx | +0.32 | 72 | 50 |
| #5 | GODscruffay | -0.37 | 65 | 59 |





