








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1077 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 292 matches | ||
| Esplay | 71 matches | 1,666 | |
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5562 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,969 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4678 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4078 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3315 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1898 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,193,022 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 390 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | K-19 | 48% | 48 |
| #11 | Themarin | 47% | 47 |
| #12 | rookie_x | 45% | 58 |
| #13 | RyZ | 44% | 27 |
| #14 | oLi | 42% | 57 |





