








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1662 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,142 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3022 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1042 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1626 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1452 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $428,871 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nallepuuro | 32 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Anthony Mars | 20 | 0.0143 |
| #3 | Aino ❤ | 16 | 0.0095 |
| #4 | RasistiTero | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | SirMaahinen | 4 | 0.0023 |





