








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1034 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 185 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2537 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,817 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2015 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1883 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1346 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1573 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,263,942 of utility $249 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thrifty | 57% | 67 |
| #2 | Abstractivity | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | Speve™ | 51% | 67 |
| #4 | Jum777 | 50% | 70 |
| #5 | Naz | 47% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jum777 | 50% | 70 |
| #5 | Naz | 47% | 49 |
| #6 | kAz | 47% | 30 |
| #7 | Lancy | 45% | 22 |
| #8 | Airsoft Fatty | 32% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naz | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Thrifty | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Airsoft Fatty | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Jum777 | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Speve™ | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thrifty | 254 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | Speve™ | 250 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | Jum777 | 92 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Naz | 75 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Abstractivity | 75 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | timpani | +2.58 | 75 | 59 |
| #2 | Thrifty | +1.87 | 83 | 63 |
| #3 | Speve™ | -0.71 | 56 | 68 |
| #4 | Naz | -1.24 | 35 | 48 |
| #5 | Lancy | -1.50 | 68 | 53 |





