








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 351 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3704 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,981 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2097 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3586 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3069 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3229 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $938,638 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 236 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | no no no | 58% | 50 |
| #2 | M4ch1n3 | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | $cr4tchF1v3K | 55% | 65 |
| #4 | oTinTin | 52% | 97 |
| #5 | Rabid Dog | 51% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Local Bossman | 50% | 28 |
| #7 | Googie | 45% | 75 |
| #8 | xQzme | 45% | 42 |
| #9 | Rattle979 | 39% | 31 |
| #10 | le0 | 39% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oTinTin | 19 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | M4ch1n3 | 11 | 0.0196 |
| #3 | Rabid Dog | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Googie | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Rattle979 | 4 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $cr4tchF1v3K | 413 | 0.28 | 13 min |
| #2 | Rabid Dog | 344 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | oTinTin | 253 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | le0 | 202 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | M4ch1n3 | 157 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $cr4tchF1v3K | +3.12 | 83 | 76 |
| #2 | oTinTin | +2.35 | 81 | 55 |
| #3 | M4ch1n3 | +2.27 | 75 | 74 |
| #4 | TW | +0.57 | 84 | 56 |
| #5 | Local Bossman | +0.45 | 82 | 34 |





