








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3855 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,564 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4982 | 43% |
| Smokes | 2034 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2698 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1850 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $786,480 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 565 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Local Bossman | 45% | 49 |
| #12 | Joakim | 42% | 19 |
| #13 | Rattle979 | 42% | 57 |
| #14 | M4ch1n3 | 40% | 30 |
| #15 | xQzme | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rabid Dog | 17 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | M4ch1n3 | 15 | 0.0240 |
| #3 | Rattle979 | 14 | 0.0115 |
| #4 | Googie | 11 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | oTinTin | 9 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rabid Dog | 669 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #2 | le0 | 192 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | no no no | 191 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | oTinTin | 189 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | TW | 183 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $cr4tchF1v3K | +3.22 | 86 | 75 |
| #2 | M4ch1n3 | +3.10 | 77 | 65 |
| #3 | oTinTin | +2.46 | 83 | 47 |
| #4 | Bryantjes | +0.61 | 82 | 65 |
| #5 | TW | +0.56 | 84 | 58 |





