








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1288 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 590 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7533 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,736 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5407 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5165 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3965 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 6199 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,600,120 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 415 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MALY | 55% | 109 |
| #2 | Pickle | 54% | 267 |
| #3 | mecHANIC | 52% | 61 |
| #4 | CHU1313Y cs.money upgrade.gg | 52% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MALY | 55% | 109 |
| #2 | Pickle | 54% | 267 |
| #3 | mecHANIC | 52% | 61 |
| #4 | CHU1313Y cs.money upgrade.gg | 52% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pickle | 16 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | MALY | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | CHU1313Y cs.money upgrade.gg | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pickle | 862 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #2 | MALY | 314 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | mecHANIC | 163 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | CHU1313Y cs.money upgrade.gg | 75 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peepers | +1.97 | 83 | 52 |
| #2 | MALY | +1.13 | 83 | 63 |
| #3 | CHU1313Y cs.money upgrade.gg | -0.93 | 93 | 41 |
| #4 | mecHANIC | -1.35 | 59 | 56 |
| #5 | Pickle | -1.98 | 68 | 53 |





