










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 495 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 293 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 90 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4614 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,850 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6617 | 48% |
| Smokes | 2610 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2704 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1919 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $746,078 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 488 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ynoctis | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | Peepers | 54% | 267 |
| #3 | gucci boxers | 46% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ynoctis | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | Peepers | 54% | 267 |
| #3 | gucci boxers | 46% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gucci boxers | 27 | 0.0163 |
| #2 | Peepers | 20 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Ynoctis | 5 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peepers | 535 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | gucci boxers | 254 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | Ynoctis | 63 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gucci boxers | +5.03 | 88 | 69 |
| #2 | Peepers | +2.54 | 84 | 51 |
| #3 | Ynoctis | +1.71 | 68 | 60 |
| #4 | Pickle | -1.57 | 67 | 52 |





