








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 495 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 580 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




77 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5700 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,068 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6011 | 21% |
| Smokes | 7594 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8179 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 6284 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $799,795 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ycxyy | 48% | 56 |
| #2 | ×͜× | 47% | 672 |
| #3 | Ardzeik | 45% | 42 |
| #4 | Kiril | 45% | 76 |
| #5 | maar4a | 42% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ycxyy | 48% | 56 |
| #2 | ×͜× | 47% | 672 |
| #3 | Ardzeik | 45% | 42 |
| #4 | Kiril | 45% | 76 |
| #5 | maar4a | 42% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ×͜× | 34 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | maar4a | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | ycxyy | 6 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Ardzeik | 5 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Kiril | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ×͜× | 372 | 0.03 | 10 min |
| #2 | ycxyy | 155 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | maar4a | 41 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kiril | 35 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ardzeik | 14 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maar4a | +4.16 | 79 | 55 |
| #2 | ycxyy | +4.12 | 91 | 57 |
| #3 | ×͜× | +0.60 | 31 | 47 |
| #4 | Ardzeik | +0.54 | 45 | 49 |
| #5 | Kiril | -0.96 | 39 | 45 |





