








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1061 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 307 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3077 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,197 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3094 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3451 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3072 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2580 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,847,089 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ℲK10 | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | SoloBerna | 49% | 78 |
| #5 | tamsin | 45% | 40 |
| #6 | hosebei | 45% | 38 |
| #7 | GeiLo | 41% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [SPECK]Tydeno | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | SoloBerna | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | GeiLo | 1 | 0.0011 |





