








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 379 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 216 matches | ||
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3993 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,490 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3224 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3232 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2178 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2856 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $627,310 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L E X U S | 52% | 148 |
| #2 | El Munch | 48% | 342 |
| #3 | nOLS | 43% | 21 |
| #4 | Flaxaren | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L E X U S | 52% | 148 |
| #2 | El Munch | 48% | 342 |
| #3 | nOLS | 43% | 21 |
| #4 | Flaxaren | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L E X U S | 23 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | nOLS | 22 | 0.0524 |
| #3 | El Munch | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Flaxaren | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Munch | 953 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #2 | L E X U S | 291 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Flaxaren | 119 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #4 | nOLS | 67 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nOLS | +4.40 | 90 | 41 |
| #2 | Bappo get taco | +2.09 | 80 | 68 |
| #3 | El Munch | -0.80 | 69 | 63 |
| #4 | L E X U S | -0.85 | 46 | 52 |
| #5 | Flaxaren | -0.96 | 57 | 60 |





