








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 215 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3755 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,151 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2357 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2069 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1099 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1626 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $827,611 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 506 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JULZ | 79% | 19 |
| #2 | [PBS] Fappy | 74% | 34 |
| #3 | PaiNツ cs.money | 70% | 20 |
| #4 | DREAd | 68% | 37 |
| #5 | LEL | 65% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Zuupix | 54% | 65 |
| #13 | T the roof | 50% | 16 |
| #14 | hyouka | 50% | 28 |
| #15 | ඞ LiamF | 45% | 20 |
| #16 | Honey | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b3n5 | 9 | 0.0191 |
| #2 | ok)))))))))))))))) | 6 | 0.0179 |
| #3 | Zuupix | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | [PBS] Fappy | 4 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | ඞ LiamF | 3 | 0.0069 |





