








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2046 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,106 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1209 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1698 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1144 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1055 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $343,965 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Ruby Rose | 50% | 12 |
| #9 | John Dillermand | 48% | 27 |
| #10 | Moleister | 48% | 103 |
| #11 | NawThatsNice | 47% | 38 |
| #12 | aksjeforvalter for spetalen | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rico | 285 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | John Dillermand | 89 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Moleister | 88 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | aksjeforvalter for spetalen | 54 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | brew | 51 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yæsshaaaa | +2.36 | 73 | 57 |
| #2 | Jumpa | +2.22 | 75 | 24 |
| #3 | brew | +1.77 | 60 | 53 |
| #4 | Henrik | +0.88 | 81 | 41 |
| #5 | aksjeforvalter for spetalen | +0.51 | 54 | 64 |





