








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 593 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 537 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6433 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,116 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3390 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4016 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5768 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3942 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,395,000 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 750 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓅𝓇𝓂𝓏𝓎 | 56% | 61 |
| #2 | swissy | 52% | 157 |
| #3 | Gubbins | 49% | 276 |
| #4 | m a c k | 48% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓅𝓇𝓂𝓏𝓎 | 56% | 61 |
| #2 | swissy | 52% | 157 |
| #3 | Gubbins | 49% | 276 |
| #4 | m a c k | 48% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gubbins | 28 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | swissy | 20 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | m a c k | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | 𝓅𝓇𝓂𝓏𝓎 | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gubbins | 1310 | 0.23 | 27 min |
| #2 | swissy | 589 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #3 | m a c k | 330 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | 𝓅𝓇𝓂𝓏𝓎 | 111 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swissy | +2.50 | 84 | 61 |
| #2 | Gubbins | +1.51 | 72 | 69 |
| #3 | 𝓅𝓇𝓂𝓏𝓎 | +0.40 | 76 | 63 |
| #4 | ℙ𝕙𝕚𝕝 | -0.69 | 72 | 47 |
| #5 | m a c k | -0.87 | 90 | 52 |





