








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1029 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 358 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




74 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6642 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,537 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10717 | 32% |
| Smokes | 9747 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6786 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 6287 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $635,396 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7936 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swissy | 52% | 308 |
| #2 | m a c k | 51% | 379 |
| #3 | ℙ𝕙𝕚𝕝 | 49% | 276 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swissy | 52% | 308 |
| #2 | m a c k | 51% | 379 |
| #3 | ℙ𝕙𝕚𝕝 | 49% | 276 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m a c k | 37 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | swissy | 36 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | ℙ𝕙𝕚𝕝 | 19 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swissy | 1184 | 0.18 | 25 min |
| #2 | m a c k | 1083 | 0.14 | 29 min |
| #3 | ℙ𝕙𝕚𝕝 | 334 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swissy | +2.64 | 85 | 61 |
| #2 | Gubbins | +1.68 | 72 | 68 |
| #3 | m a c k | -0.14 | 90 | 54 |
| #4 | ℙ𝕙𝕚𝕝 | -0.78 | 72 | 46 |





