








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 207 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 139 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2320 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,303 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1326 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1993 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1156 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1828 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $690,658 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dethyus | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | ビ ケ🎤🐀 | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | neenick | 59% | 32 |
| #4 | RainingGods | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | RdPnd | 57% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DKP | 425 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | RainingGods | 182 | 0.37 | 5 min |
| #3 | kel | 154 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | neenick | 142 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | RdPnd | 124 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RainingGods | +3.42 | 92 | 71 |
| #2 | kel | +1.92 | 81 | 71 |
| #3 | DKP | +1.26 | 64 | 76 |
| #4 | RdPnd | +1.22 | 69 | 73 |
| #5 | ビ ケ🎤🐀 | +1.01 | 84 | 61 |





