








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 473 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2898 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,794 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2777 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1982 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2140 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1895 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,190,283 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 857 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MASA | 82% | 22 |
| #2 | Intoilija | 81% | 16 |
| #3 | P4T=D | 81% | 16 |
| #4 | ✪ ◄Ti(m)myy► | 69% | 16 |
| #5 | Nksu | 68% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WeeZy | Tuntuu Höpöltä :D | 18 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Valdemar | 12 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | MASA | 7 | 0.0167 |
| #4 | Nksu | 6 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | Sm1llee8d | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WeeZy | Tuntuu Höpöltä :D | 139 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | Vesuri | 97 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Valdemar | 81 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Intoilija | 57 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pommihälytysmimmi😛 | 54 | 0.12 | 2 min |





