








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 121 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
771 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,368 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 269 | 20% |
| Smokes | 382 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 365 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 352 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $193,693 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Intoilija | 67% | 3 |
| #10 | Miikkagodx | 64% | 36 |
| #11 | HENU | 60% | 5 |
| #12 | Pommihälytysmimmi😛 | 43% | 7 |
| #13 | Vesuri | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miikkagodx | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Nksu | 2 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | WeeZy | Tuntuu Höpöltä :D | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | jelo | 1 | 0.0118 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miikkagodx | 120 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | WeeZy | Tuntuu Höpöltä :D | 27 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | jelo | 21 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #4 | Jerppa | 16 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | allu | 16 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sm1llee8d | +3.59 | 96 | 59 |
| #2 | allu | +3.58 | 90 | 76 |
| #3 | Nksu | +2.70 | 90 | 49 |
| #4 | Intoilija | +2.32 | 74 | 35 |
| #5 | jelo | +2.14 | 92 | 70 |





