








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 317 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 281 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3265 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,626 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2327 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3278 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2868 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2153 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,233,683 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prince'S Elsa | 59% | 46 |
| #2 | j'ai vendu ma mere pour hellcase | 58% | 48 |
| #3 | GimliGodx | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | Mike | 51% | 73 |
| #5 | ElBouvax | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Mike | 51% | 73 |
| #5 | ElBouvax | 49% | 37 |
| #6 | [LFST] NooBiNooB | 48% | 190 |
| #7 | Steuve | 48% | 54 |
| #8 | Ola Vash | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [LFST] NooBiNooB | 18 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Mike | 10 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Prince'S Elsa | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | ElBouvax | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | j'ai vendu ma mere pour hellcase | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [LFST] NooBiNooB | 627 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | Mike | 242 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Prince'S Elsa | 190 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | ElBouvax | 155 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | j'ai vendu ma mere pour hellcase | 137 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GimliGodx | +2.54 | 76 | 58 |
| #2 | Prince'S Elsa | +2.42 | 81 | 63 |
| #3 | ElBouvax | +1.41 | 68 | 67 |
| #4 | JudasPerge | +1.30 | 63 | 60 |
| #5 | Mike | +1.13 | 69 | 65 |





