










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
990 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,597 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 688 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1162 | 45% |
| HE Grenades | 303 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 444 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $985,759 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Yue | 33% | 116 |
| #12 | 727 WYSI | 29% | 38 |
| #13 | Dean "peppy" Herbert | 25% | 12 |
| #14 | _Bear | 25% | 20 |
| #15 | uɐı̣ɔı̣ƃɐW | 24% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruyaya | 7 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Yue | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Nya | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | lilychu | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | 垂凯若 | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lilychu | 397 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | Yue | 269 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | Dazzlewind | 174 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | 垂凯若 | 171 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | Ruyaya | 167 | 0.12 | 4 min |





