








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 92 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
798 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,939 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 170 | 9% |
| Smokes | 467 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 747 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 555 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $385,043 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | talking tom | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | OO OO AA AA | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | イレイナ | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | Kido | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | eskel | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | eskel | 53% | 15 |
| #6 | jeeer | 44% | 48 |
| #7 | kohicino | 40% | 57 |
| #8 | ballsinyojaw | 40% | 10 |
| #9 | ZA WARUDO | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | イレイナ | 4 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | kohicino | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Kido | 3 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | OO OO AA AA | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | jeeer | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeeer | 125 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | kohicino | 116 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | eskel | 56 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kido | 45 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | OO OO AA AA | 38 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OO OO AA AA | +4.70 | 81 | 53 |
| #2 | kohicino | +4.07 | 77 | 57 |
| #3 | イレイナ | +2.52 | 68 | 54 |
| #4 | talking tom | +0.77 | 69 | 55 |
| #5 | ballsinyojaw | -0.66 | 59 | 50 |





