










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 393 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Wingman | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1931 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,126 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 607 | 19% |
| Smokes | 781 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1037 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 701 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,010,625 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 403 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nymand | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | blackbananaman | 60% | 80 |
| #3 | gingganggung | 40% | 141 |
| #4 | Mr.Kum | 38% | 29 |
| #5 | flimsy | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | blackbananaman | 60% | 80 |
| #3 | gingganggung | 40% | 141 |
| #4 | Mr.Kum | 38% | 29 |
| #5 | flimsy | 33% | 21 |
| #6 | Winnie the Wrath | 25% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blackbananaman | 11 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Nymand | 7 | 0.0152 |
| #3 | flimsy | 4 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | gingganggung | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Mr.Kum | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blackbananaman | 210 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Nymand | 174 | 0.38 | 5 min |
| #3 | Mr.Kum | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Winnie the Wrath | 28 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | gingganggung | 24 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nymand | +6.30 | 88 | 72 |
| #2 | blackbananaman | +2.41 | 77 | 61 |
| #3 | AP_ | +0.70 | 40 | 33 |
| #4 | flimsy | -0.48 | 47 | 36 |
| #5 | Mr.Kum | -0.80 | 50 | 52 |





