








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 840 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 258 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4129 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,388 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3594 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2472 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3044 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2278 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,287,365 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 413 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AP_ | 60% | 80 |
| #2 | Da Little Snek | 49% | 57 |
| #3 | flimsy | 48% | 208 |
| #4 | Mr.Kum | 45% | 196 |
| #5 | gingganggung | 43% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Da Little Snek | 49% | 57 |
| #3 | flimsy | 48% | 208 |
| #4 | Mr.Kum | 45% | 196 |
| #5 | gingganggung | 43% | 97 |
| #6 | Winnie the Wrath | 43% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flimsy | 32 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Winnie the Wrath | 22 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | Mr.Kum | 21 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | gingganggung | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Da Little Snek | 6 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Kum | 368 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | Winnie the Wrath | 210 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | flimsy | 119 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | AP_ | 43 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | gingganggung | 36 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blackbananaman | +2.40 | 80 | 60 |
| #2 | Da Little Snek | +1.73 | 77 | 37 |
| #3 | Mr.Kum | +0.04 | 53 | 53 |
| #4 | flimsy | -0.31 | 35 | 38 |
| #5 | AP_ | -1.22 | 42 | 30 |





