








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 180 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1205 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,485 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 914 | 26% |
| Smokes | 571 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1102 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 898 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $576,760 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k4leyn | 47% | 111 |
| #2 | Felix | 45% | 22 |
| #3 | γ Shaniu # Key-Drop.com | 45% | 64 |
| #4 | NistriaN | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k4leyn | 47% | 111 |
| #2 | Felix | 45% | 22 |
| #3 | γ Shaniu # Key-Drop.com | 45% | 64 |
| #4 | NistriaN | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | γ Shaniu # Key-Drop.com | 15 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | k4leyn | 11 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | NistriaN | 2 | 0.0104 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k4leyn | 291 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | Felix | 86 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | γ Shaniu # Key-Drop.com | 45 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | NistriaN | 27 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | γ Shaniu # Key-Drop.com | +0.15 | 77 | 34 |
| #2 | k4leyn | +0.09 | 69 | 59 |
| #3 | ππ
Ύπ
½π | -0.65 | 31 | 54 |
| #4 | Felix | -1.33 | 46 | 64 |
| #5 | NistriaN | -1.72 | 28 | 53 |





