








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
91 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 352 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 67 | 19% |
| Smokes | 91 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 122 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 72 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $67,400 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ault | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | nutsuppiler | 43% | 7 |
| #3 | Dripless690 | 33% | 9 |
| #4 | televator | 31% | 13 |
| #5 | Ludzar | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Dripless690 | 33% | 9 |
| #4 | televator | 31% | 13 |
| #5 | Ludzar | 25% | 4 |
| #6 | Ares | 13% | 8 |
| #7 | bhrek | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | televator | 3 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | Ares | 1 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | televator | 60 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #2 | Dripless690 | 23 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Ares | 19 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #4 | Ault | 10 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| #5 | nutsuppiler | 6 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | televator | +2.95 | 86 | 75 |
| #2 | Ault | +1.95 | 63 | 63 |
| #3 | nutsuppiler | -1.39 | 20 | 27 |
| #4 | lilleklump | -1.66 | 49 | 56 |
| #5 | bhrek | -1.78 | 32 | 38 |





