








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 854 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 518 matches | ||
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7918 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,480 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6877 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7350 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6713 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6540 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,353,279 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 319 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Juju_Asd | 55% | 238 |
| #9 | jakee | 52% | 289 |
| #10 | James Bondage | 51% | 99 |
| #11 | ✪ epi | 50% | 42 |
| #12 | Vilento | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hemuli | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Juju_Asd | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | ⭕⃤Meli | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | jakee | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | James Bondage | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jakee | 1520 | 0.24 | 45 min |
| #2 | Hemuli | 1060 | 0.20 | 29 min |
| #3 | ⭕⃤Meli | 1056 | 0.14 | 28 min |
| #4 | Juju_Asd | 861 | 0.17 | 23 min |
| #5 | Maikkari | 209 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⭕⃤Meli | +4.45 | 91 | 74 |
| #2 | Jupe | +3.02 | 84 | 81 |
| #3 | Jusa | +0.72 | 86 | 71 |
| #4 | Hemuli | +0.51 | 71 | 73 |
| #5 | Juju_Asd | +0.25 | 78 | 69 |





