








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 309 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Faceit | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3043 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,551 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1341 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2210 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1802 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2198 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $726,110 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 494 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Xeniim | 58% | 84 |
| #7 | cLm5Y'# | 57% | 49 |
| #8 | EMPTYANER | 50% | 16 |
| #9 | Classified | 46% | 28 |
| #10 | .#ƞ϶ѵϵᴙᴍἰրᴆ♦_^ | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xeniim | 14 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | CapriSonne | Kris | 7 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | cLm5Y'# | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | huggi | 4 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | Classified | 3 | 0.0053 |





