








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 778 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 410 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5375 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,349 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2618 | 36% |
| Smokes | 905 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 1918 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1908 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,970,770 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 341 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | |BS| DaSlySpy | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | THE WARRIOR | 50% | 32 |
| #3 | Darrell Cartrip | 49% | 192 |
| #4 | Mr. Clean | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | SingedNutHairs | 44% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | White cran Bleach | +3.43 | 87 | 56 |
| #2 | |BS| DaSlySpy | +3.36 | 58 | 71 |
| #3 | THE WARRIOR | +3.15 | 86 | 33 |
| #4 | Mr. Clean | +0.82 | 31 | 53 |
| #5 | SingedNutHairs | -0.62 | 52 | 62 |





