








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 560 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 460 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7041 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,790 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3880 | 20% |
| Smokes | 8074 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 2639 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 5197 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,050,979 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 957 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kevin | 58% | 43 |
| #2 | ToSt | 57% | 44 |
| #3 | Knuffelbär | 50% | 78 |
| #4 | Julius | 48% | 40 |
| #5 | Gramm.S | 43% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kevin | 58% | 43 |
| #2 | ToSt | 57% | 44 |
| #3 | Knuffelbär | 50% | 78 |
| #4 | Julius | 48% | 40 |
| #5 | Gramm.S | 43% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToSt | 10 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | Kevin | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Gramm.S | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Knuffelbär | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToSt | 185 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | Kevin | 111 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Knuffelbär | 97 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Gramm.S | 89 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Julius | 62 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kevin | +3.68 | 74 | 57 |
| #2 | Knuffelbär | +1.42 | 53 | 62 |
| #3 | GodServer.exe | +0.51 | 66 | 54 |
| #4 | Julius | -0.67 | 83 | 54 |
| #5 | ToSt | -1.30 | 52 | 65 |





