








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 800 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5160 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,434 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6656 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4807 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3295 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3676 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,031,129 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 332 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | immae | 61% | 147 |
| #2 | ogre | 60% | 129 |
| #3 | W.C. | 58% | 149 |
| #4 | Radio Stephen | 53% | 314 |
| #5 | Gabagool | 53% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Radio Stephen | 664 | 0.11 | 20 min |
| #2 | ogre | 661 | 0.25 | 18 min |
| #3 | immae | 593 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #4 | W.C. | 467 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #5 | Gabagool | 328 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ogre | +3.31 | 75 | 72 |
| #2 | Pfeifer | +3.24 | 95 | 56 |
| #3 | Gabagool | +2.02 | 83 | 61 |
| #4 | W.C. | +1.97 | 76 | 56 |
| #5 | Radio Stephen | +1.82 | 82 | 53 |





