








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 498 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 507 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8902 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,450 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6108 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7601 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3598 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 5143 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,833,166 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 345 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | immae | 64% | 42 |
| #2 | the gigachicken | 58% | 149 |
| #3 | Radio Stephen | 52% | 104 |
| #4 | ogre | 49% | 149 |
| #5 | HorseGirl2007 | 44% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pfeifer | +1.67 | 95 | 54 |
| #2 | W.C. | +1.55 | 75 | 56 |
| #3 | ogre | +1.31 | 72 | 76 |
| #4 | immae | -0.09 | 65 | 46 |
| #5 | Radio Stephen | -0.24 | 82 | 54 |





