








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1916 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 386 matches | ||
| Premier | 233 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9057 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,052 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13559 | 39% |
| Smokes | 9727 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4226 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 7540 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,890,839 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 256 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 思い出なんかいらん | 56% | 258 |
| #4 | bubi | 53% | 746 |
| #5 | NCALL丶 | 53% | 331 |
| #6 | Shizaaaaa | 51% | 285 |
| #7 | Leinnnnn | 49% | 200 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bubi | 33 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | NCALL丶 | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Leinnnnn | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Shizaaaaa | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | 思い出なんかいらん | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bubi | 2562 | 0.17 | 51 min |
| #2 | NCALL丶 | 1819 | 0.27 | 38 min |
| #3 | 思い出なんかいらん | 1287 | 0.24 | 27 min |
| #4 | Shizaaaaa | 1047 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #5 | Leinnnnn | 444 | 0.11 | 9 min |





