








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 476 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1396 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,621 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2066 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2096 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1648 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1811 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $647,123 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 198 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sqizipizzidatpiichi | 66% | 29 |
| #2 | Xtivandi | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | Chiffon | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | Saki | 50% | 24 |
| #5 | elja | 47% | 189 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Chiffon | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | Saki | 50% | 24 |
| #5 | elja | 47% | 189 |
| #6 | MCSNGR | 47% | 217 |
| #7 | PandaMonium | 43% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elja | 14 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | PandaMonium | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | MCSNGR | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Sqizipizzidatpiichi | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Xtivandi | 2 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elja | 763 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #2 | MCSNGR | 479 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | PandaMonium | 425 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #4 | Chiffon | 93 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Saki | 81 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sqizipizzidatpiichi | +5.80 | 66 | 60 |
| #2 | PandaMonium | +2.78 | 60 | 56 |
| #3 | MCSNGR | +2.56 | 43 | 50 |
| #4 | Xtivandi | +1.61 | 37 | 65 |
| #5 | elja | -1.06 | 14 | 63 |





