








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1853 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,066 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2078 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3280 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 1366 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1342 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $901,935 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | elja | 45% | 44 |
| #12 | 老的 | 45% | 82 |
| #13 | she's mine | 44% | 64 |
| #14 | Bomboclaaatt | 43% | 51 |
| #15 | Ameyomeyo | 27% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haerin | 305 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | Sanjay Singh | 262 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | 老的 | 247 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Sqizipizzidatpiichi | 231 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | she's mine | 230 | 0.17 | 4 min |





