








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 122 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
974 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,201 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 402 | 18% |
| Smokes | 734 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 576 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 489 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $392,289 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Didlo | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | EBITDA | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | SpectralOwl | 71% | 31 |
| #4 | wockesha | 68% | 22 |
| #5 | EPiD | 67% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Nicki Mirage | 52% | 21 |
| #12 | Meow Zedong | 50% | 8 |
| #13 | Ashtuah | 50% | 12 |
| #14 | holy guacamole | 44% | 9 |
| #15 | Wires | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wockesha | 59 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | Didlo | 36 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | SpectralOwl | 32 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Hohenberger | 31 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Nicki Mirage | 27 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Didlo | +2.74 | 66 | 52 |
| #2 | holy guacamole | +2.47 | 93 | 30 |
| #3 | I killed reptar before its nbd | +2.39 | 70 | 51 |
| #4 | Nicki Mirage | +2.28 | 81 | 56 |
| #5 | EBITDA | +1.68 | 62 | 60 |





