








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 250 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1700 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,748 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1031 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1786 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1974 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 957 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $414,361 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ProfessorDrKinese | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | Hanso | 64% | 90 |
| #3 | gO_ose | 63% | 49 |
| #4 | JesusPwnsYa | 62% | 39 |
| #5 | ALEBABA | 56% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ALEBABA | 56% | 32 |
| #6 | ~Flame-On~ | 51% | 49 |
| #7 | Hanso 2 | 50% | 16 |
| #8 | [sepp-gaming] | 48% | 25 |
| #9 | Workflow | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hanso | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | gO_ose | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | ProfessorDrKinese | 5 | 0.0204 |
| #4 | ~Flame-On~ | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | JesusPwnsYa | 4 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hanso | 138 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | gO_ose | 61 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | JesusPwnsYa | 43 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | ALEBABA | 42 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | ~Flame-On~ | 37 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TaiiKoV2 | +2.85 | 77 | 66 |
| #2 | ProfessorDrKinese | +2.10 | 87 | 62 |
| #3 | ~Flame-On~ | +2.03 | 92 | 45 |
| #4 | Hanso | +1.88 | 77 | 61 |
| #5 | Hanso 2 | -0.20 | 75 | 63 |





